Even though my Spanish isn't fluent, I could still understand what was going on in your video. Your animation style is very fluid, the characters portray the appropriate body language and the general atmosphere of each scene is well carried out.
For constructive criticism, I would say to work on fine tuning your animation style and try to make the characters' actions more fluid. Other than that, good work overall.
Aunque mi español no es fluido, aún podía entender lo que estaba pasando en su video. Su estilo de animación es muy fluido, los personajes retratan el lenguaje corporal adecuado y la atmósfera general de cada escena se realiza bien.
Para la crítica constructiva, yo diría trabajar en su estilo de animación sintonización fina y tratar de hacer acciones de los personajes más fluido. Aparte de eso, buen trabajo en general.
Thanks Kaninchen10!!! I´m with you, 100%!!! The animation could be more fluid!!! Maybe i should mix traditional animation with the cutout!!! Once again, thank you so much for the feedback!!!
Such a tragic love story foretelling every creeper's tragic death, their inability to become attached to others upsets their delicate chemical balance, spelling out certain doom for all around them. What a tale, what a heart wrencher, what a MASTERPIECE! I CAN'T STAND IT!
On another note, nice flash, solid animation and whatnots. I always thought the Nether was pretty sweet, the terrain left a bit to be desired for the housing market, though. Good add, too, breaking the 4th wall.
Haha! That is a lovely interpretation. Thanks for the feedback and I agree with you about the terrain.
This is pretty good so far.
The movements, coloring, and music are all very fluid and done in a likeable style. You just need to make the animation longer and add more length to the animation like you do in your others and it'll be on its way!
Cute game, the objective of using the lemons to trade for ingredients, interact with the characters, and find the multiple endings is pretty clear, though lacking intricacy. It's a shame you lost the files for the game, because it's off to a good start.
Your style has a pleasing sense of originality, and if you ever do decide to work on a remake, I would add medals for the different endings or possibly show which ones were collected so far as each are found. It would keep track of them a bit easier.
Thank you so much for the feedback. The game was intended to have a list of achieved endings; unfortunately, it's one of the things I didn't get to do.
Interesting, though it could use a few things.
First of all, since there's no other kind of interaction besides reading the text and clicking on the different options, it will eventually get boring if there isn't something else added to keep the player's attention. There's no music or sound effects to give the game a sense of atmosphere, something to continue drawing you in. You don't need all kinds of selections, but even something like different sound effects would give it dimension.
I would also include illustrations every now and then of the different scenes/environment, maybe adding a faded illustration to the background for a sense of where the characters are at in the story. Even adding a little colour would be positive since the entire screen is white (besides the text, of course). It gets to be a little hard on the eyes since the colours are so contrasting.
You will need to fix the coding, though. I replayed the game multiple times to make sure it wasn't just my computer and came to the conclusion that each time I progressed to certain actions (choosing whether to follow Jake or Brad upon entering the house, any of the options after following Brad up the stairs, etc.), I could not progress. The text would not rise and continue on, and I really couldn't get passed it unless I reloaded the page and chose a different action. Also, the spelling and grammar should be checked, but that's minor.
I've played a few text-based games and this one is coming along well comparatively, but it still looks to be in progress. As a side note, reaching the different endings would make good medals if you decide to use them. If you ever want help writing another game like this or even assistance on this one later on, message me; I'd love to help out and better my skills. Though I haven't done anything professional, it's still a favorite past time.
Thanks for your awesome feedback! Yes, the game is definitely a work in progress. I'm very concerned about the crashing - I'll be sure to make a more stable game next time.
Originally, my idea was to not include any pictures or music so that the player can "use their imagination." For the next game though, I'll definately include some visualments to keep it more interesting!
After doing a little searching, I found the Unity3D plugin necessary to play the game. I would write in the Author Comments that it should be downloaded beforehand, otherwise players will see this error message:
This submission is not compatible with your device:
Requires Unity3D plugin
Unsuitable for touchscreen devices
The game is pretty solid, it's pretty self explanatory as these are so popular. Its mechanics were easy to figure out and the playing area was amusing to watch go by. The only thing I would fix is that after I played for a decent while, the point of the game kind of changed from gathering all of the jewels to just being able to avoid the enormous amount of obstacles. I don't know if there's an end to the game or if you just have to get the highest score possible, but the obstacles got rather annoying after a while.
3/5 It's alright overall.
And as I walked into this cave..what sort of cave is this, filled with light yet shrouded in the darkness..its mouth opened wide in beckoning my curiosity inward. Steps unheard and gravel unturned as I hadn't needed to walk, I was already inside...where am I..These walls were not enclosing, yet I was sealed inside. The air remained still, yet filled with life. I hadn't spoken a word, yet I heard so many of my own..
It was myself.
Where are you..?
BUT WHO WAS VOID?
Congrats again, another revitalizing piece of yours made well and with lasting tranquility.
As with Druidtton, this was the first music piece I'd listened to after the website was remade and I am glad it is so. The depth and language you speak with music is remarkable, even in the more simplistic of songs.
I. Love. You. (F)
Thankyou for listening! *Kiss*
To answer your question, my love. The void is not a person, but that of what makes a person. <3
Am I the only one who is reminded of Caramel Dance
I mean, it sounds like it a little bit. ^^ Nice bouncy, fun melody you have going here.
It does get repetitive though, but other than that it's alright.
So, you're doing a storybook spread to be used with the story, meaning that you're going to make one for each portion of the story until you finish it? Or are these supposed to be samples? Either way, it's odd, but really interesting. The idea is fresh compared to most intricate things I see around here. If this is only an assignment, you should still play with it and see what other designs you can make for the page samples.
Thanks! it was actually just a school assignment haha
I like it. The swirling effect continued throughout the woman's hair and replicated in the flowers that cover her body and makes up the foreground and background are blended well. I'm not a fan of the bone structure revealed from the liquid just because I usually work with more realism anyhow.
What I say you could improve and look for on your future works is how the thickness of the body parts change (or thins out, rather) as the length is ascended. The woman's left forearm, or the one above and beyond her head shouldn't be so thick. It seems like the entire arm is a lot longer than it should be. Also, where her bangs meet her forehead, there are lines that indicate they separate, but there is still a defining line that is pushed all the way across (imagine a colouring book, where everything is outlined). To keep the natural effect of her hair throughout the picture, the edges should be even just a little bit jagged.
All in all, 4/5. Nice work, you have a good style.
I love looking through your full figure and smaller sketches, your realistic portrayal is admirable as well as distinguishing. I really have no solid criticism on this submission in particular because they are practice sketches (yet still in great perspective), though when shading I would make sure not to make the shadows look like pencil squiggles. Either blending a bit or just going over the area smoothly should suffice.
Thanks for the review! Glad you like looking through my work. I'm still working on using my skills when under time-stress... you're right, I should focus on making that shading more precise.
Thanks again :)
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